Decision.

Hi blog! It's been a long time since I left you molding here, without bringing some fresh air for a fresh breath. Here I'm back! Still, I love this little space to spit whatever I wanted to. 

Finally, the knot of all troubles was opened, just a moment ago. I guessed that was what I was failed to gain some sensibility throughout those days, those hours, and how hard I fell asleep through nights, and how frightened they were to be awaken in the early morning.

Red-eyed. Like a rabbit, I made my decision. The ULTIMATE one.

To this, I salute to one that always been the center of all mindful acts, sometimes just went to be too sensible, wild ones, and too tightened by the logic and reality. She gave me a various of notes and voices to be the one, gave me just a simple break for letting me fall hard, to the lowest ground, and being the one who set me up when no one else can do. 

Thank you heart. 

Betrayals originated from mercies and longing kindness. That's the reason why I go against her again and again. Subdued to those so-called REALITY and FAR-TO-REACH. So this time, I tore myself apart.

I see myself in misery, and I am hoping for a long run from her after that.

Blinded. Fooled. By those THEORIES OF BALANCE CREATED, while I tried to catch balance between two poles. I focused all my strengths on catching the ends of the rod, while she slipped away without notifying me. 

The ULTIMATE one. 

Type and typed, I felt a big relieve. A huge relieve.

I am tired, but I am wide awake.

Countless brambles are pricking my feet to keep me going, while I won't bow down to any one of them.

To this, I'll let my tears and blood to wash away the dust of the road, while I will stand to the last, and shine to ground with those scorching rays. 

I know I can. 

I am ready to be destroyed, and destroy.

With faith, I am ready.