Studying, is not suffering. But I rather quote it and define it as a big suffering for me during this period. SUFFERING, indeed. Suffering when I was informed to study the whole textbook, 442 pages, covered with all kinds of weird test methods, and principles, and theories, and formulas, WITHIN 10 DAYS. Suffering when I saw my roommates sleeping soundly on their beds, and I open my eyes as big as I can under the dim light, and FACE the BOOK, just like every sentence and alphabets are dancing and twisting in front of me. Suffering when my stomach was stroke by pangs of hunger during the wee hours, and still, I told myself to focus on the unfinished equilibrium theories, steps, procedures and every STUPID single theory, which invented by UNKNOWN. Suffering when I listened to the same lists of songs repeatedly as they are catalyzing up my speed of revision and act as good ingredients for helping me to stay awake, when the strong and rock beats hit my eardrums, but it indeed, making me nausea for non-stop repeating playing. Suffering when I force myself to pour all of the non-nutritious SUCKS food into my stomach after I strived hard studying, which results in the hair loss, nausea and all that.
Actually, I enjoyed studying. BUT NOT WHEN THE EXAM COMES. Nowadays, I am studying, JUST FOR STUDYING. Should I compliment it with a long, huge sigh?
OH NO!!!!!! ARGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Silent scream. (In fact it is quite late now. XD) How I wish I could bring on my laptop, get a right place, pressing on the playing button, and let the music fills up in the air. And I, JUST DANCE. Just as what I was doing previously. All the moves, swings, hops, steps, poses and all that, they are actually makes me feels like I AM ALIVE. Oh dance. JUST DANCE. Even I am doing so in the wee hours of night. It was the little space for me to face up my soul, and digs out every single nerves that used to hid, regardless any of the music played, and just, DANCE BY MYSELF, and DANCE FOR MYSELF. I just need some little space for me to retrieve and relieve myself.
Let me have a moment of having a huge sighs and big shouts.
Let me have a moment of lightening up my joints, burning calories and fats, and let the legs walking in the air.
Let me have a moment when I will just face my soul up when I don’t wish to face anything, anyone.
Let me have a moment of tapping on the floor, trying to share my story when I make my moves, although, there is no audience around.
Let me have a moment of constituting the stage alone, alone on my stage.
Let me have a moment of feeling alive, after I am dying on facing books and notes.
Let me have a moment, just a moment.
And the most devastating is, I HAVE TO STUDY FOR THE SUCKS BASKETBALL RULES!! I don’t even know what the single function is for my future even that I am able to memorize all the violations, fouls, and hand signs of the referee. HEY COME ON!! It’s just a CO-CURRCULAR ACTIVITIY and the memorizing of basketball rules is making people SO ANNOYING and DISGUSTING about the sports! I don’t even enjoyed a single drop of sweat as I have been named as a BASKETBALL CLUB MEMBER along with the semester. I was asked to be trained like a professional basketball player with the precise movement, perfect lay-ups and all that. NO MATCH OCCURRED, NO ENTERTAINING AND RELAXING EFFECTS. I was even being told-off by the coach when I made the wrong position of dribbling and shooting. It was totally a game for those well-trained players to improve their standards. Haiz.
“ Mr. Coach, stop be so MAD at me and keep eating up my marks whenever I made the wrong posture of lay-ups and pivots, because the situation will exactly same when you are in my shoes for a dance-grooving and tempo session and I am the one to instruct you.”
Sneezing and coughing stats coming to me. Gosh. What to do? The only solution is to get sleep right now. My eyelid is getting heavier and heavier right now. It is quite frightening when I have a sudden swept of glance at myself through the mirror. DARK, HEAVY, CONCENTRATED, SATURATED EYE RINGS. So I swear to have a good sleep during my holiday, I don’t intend to befriend with pandas, although they are cute anyway, and have good dance and piano sessions since I miss THEM so much. Strive for another 15 days, and I WIL BE FREED!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!
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