Manicure, curing up your nails, and curing up my soul.

Well, just feels to have a sudden to share up my manicure make up for others. It is not my first touch with the manicure, but this is the first time indeed, I share up something that I done with people. I love that thing, thouhegh I AM NOT PROFESSIONALLY-TRAINED BEFORE, yet I enjoyed seeing them, who became my guinea pigs, covered with joy when I done the last stroke of painting on their naked nails. Just tiny little things, but BRINGS A LARGE IMPACTS TO ME. It is enjoyable especially when I tried my first pairs of pedicure on my own toes, drawing all tiny spots, flowers, clovers, stars and so on, using a tiny little brush, making my toes to be so colourful and enjoyable. It has became an activity of DESTRESS for me now. Just rush out every kind of assorted ideas on the nail, using the strong and large contrasting colors, put in every creativity efforts, and make  the naked, little piece of nail to be full of spirit. So feel free to contact me, if you have the need ot do your nails (If you don't mind to be my guinea pigs.  =P)
Manicure, curing up your nails, curing up my soul.    =)

Sorry for the blurred images, because I am not using the professional techniques on shooting down the beautiful fingers, and a limited MEGAPIXEL's handphone on that. Hope that it still can be viewed. 

I will keep upload photos of that once the ideas come and struck on me. It is a big interest of me, such lady-like habits, which put on the unlady-like soul. XDXDXD

P.S: I REALLY ENJOY THAT. Hahaha..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbfeSImDntw

Addicted to the song. Live like we are dying. But before this, please allow me to spit, "TOUCHWOOD!"  XD  It has been some time since the release of the song actually, but recently I found that it was so meaningful and so nice lyrics that can actually presenting the ideas of appreciating people beside you, around you, or even just pops out in your mind in some moments. Well, I don't deny that I am paying attention to the song at first,because of KRIS ALLEN. Haha.

I shall say no more, let's look into the lyrics.

Sometimes we fall down, can't get back up

We're hiding behind skin that's too tough

How come we don't say I love you enough

Until it's too late it's not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come

But we ould make a feast from these crumbs

And we are all staring down the barrel of a gun

So if your life flashed before you what would you wish you would have done

We gotta start

Looking at the hands of the time we've been given 

If this is all we got then we gotta start thinking 

If every second counts on the clock that is ticking

Gotta live like we're dying 

We only got

86400 seconds in a day 

To turin it all around or to throw it all away

Gotta tell them that we love them while we got the chance to say 

Gotta live like we're dying

And if your plane fell out of the skies

Who would you call with your last goodbye

Should be so careful who we let fall out of our lives

Or when we long for absolution there will be no one on the line 

You never know a good thing until it is gone 

You never see a crash until it's head on 

Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong

You never know a good thing until it is gone

Whewww!! Finish typing. It's turn for me to blah blah blah something. Haha. I found the lyrics of the song in a midnight actually. And it was me so down,  down and drowned. Everything is just going on its own way, and not mine, and I was totally being broken down by the failure that I have tested. TERRIBLE. I didn't know how to manage my emotion actually, and I was tolerating hard, for not letting tears to fall. IT WAS TOO MUCH TEARS BEFORE. That's what I told myself. I was hiding from the truth and I didn't want to face it. 

I can't imagine if I failed the subject. I can't imagine how will others look at me, carrying the result slip with fail marks on it. I can't imagine the disappointment shown by my parents. I JUST RUN OUT OF CALM. And, the song comes to me. And, I didn't even know why, I listened it, carefully, singly word by word. And, everything will just like being cursed and released, I WAS RELEASED FROM IT. The atmosphere was too haunty to be described.  XD

So I start to wonder, and wander. I was actually walking in the room deep out of the clock, and wandering around without a purpose in and out of the room, pretending I was busy with something, to avoid my roommates looking freakly on me.  XD  So I stopped at the corridor. Looking at the stars, and the unusual cloudy moon on the night. The rain comes. Just like what I was having during that time. Lyrics and words from the song ran into my mind unstoppable. If I failed, I am dying. SO WHY DON'T I LIVE LIKE DYING? Just throw everything into the rubbish can, and start to live myself up.GREAT!  Isn't it?     XDXDXD

Just a little prank to sooth myself up. Don't take it serious. Well, the point is that, I was still appreciating what has been obtained, a terrible mark. (THE MARK HAS NO CRAZE ME UP, ALTHOUGH THIS SOUNDS CRAZY). Actually, if can, I really have to say a deep thanks to the mark, that make me, REALIZE. Realize that I should not give up. Realize that the mistakes that I have done. Realize that it's time for me to awake. Realize that I still can hang it through if I am dashing forward now. Even though I may be banging on the walls, even though I may be bleeding hard, even though I may be fall down. BUT, I will learn to stand up again by myself,  I will learn to laugh my heart out looking at my wound, AND, dashing forward again.

Thanks for everything. Just everything. My annoying and sucks roommates. (Perhaps I should change a very nice name for them, my BEAUTIFUL roommates, XD). I learnt to tolerate, digesting every single of my mad nerve, enduring every single piece of unwanted trouble. So, just be appreciative. APPRECIATING. This is what I am having, I am learning, as well as I am adopting. ADOPTING, not ADAPTING.

For those that knows me for long, maybe they just can't control their jaws form falling on the ground, looking these words come out from my lips, with lots of UNBELIEVABLE marks above their heads. =P  Well, this is really what I learnt from the song, just be appreciating. And VALUES UP YOUR LIFE. My uni life. I was been given the chance to stepped into the door gate of the university, and I should cherish every single second and moment for it. I am so glad that I can have the chance to face to my books, and carrying the piece of card, named by STUDENT ID, my photo, and my name on it. I am so appreciative to own to be a student under the Food Science and Nutrition Program. So I should do my best. DO MY BEST! Not letting everyone, including myself, down. 

STAND UP! WAKE UP! BUCK UP!!! 

I got the marks for my mid-term today. INCREDIBLY, TERRIBLE. It spoilt my mood up indeed. Once a moment, I really don’t know what should be run into my mind, and of course, I was held in the atmosphere of stucked, and strucked. How should I describe this kind of feeling? My conclusion is, I DESERVED IT WELL. Who asks me not to put more efforts during the exam? Who asks me to underestimate the exam? Who asks me to put my focus on those rubbish, and neglected what should come first? I was not born as a GENIUS, whose interpretation can be 100% efficient, but in fact, I have to work up 10 times, or even 100 hundred times harder than the rest, not to exceed them, but just to stand and sit with them as the same level. But, what I missed out is, I missed the chance to sit for the mid-term again!

Should I be sad? Or should I be mad on myself? I don’t know. It’s complicated anyway. I failed to manage my time distribution, my time management, and the fact was that, I SLEPT TOO MUCH! I was just fed up with the lazy, sleepy tiny receptors that makes me feels doze up always, and fail to persuade myself up to wake up earlier in the morning, just for the CHEMISTRY, FOOD SCIENCE, TITAS, MATHEMATICS and so subjects’ sakes. So I performed sucks in my mid-term. THIS IS WHAT A LAZY BUM DESERVES. No blaming on anyone please.

It’s time to sleep less and step in the pedal to dash forward. I am telling myself in this way. Perhaps it is more like persuading, and convincing myself like that. If I was born to be a stupid and 0 IQ, I should be bended to the fact. But the fact is, I AM NOT! Nobody should claim himself or herself as IDIOT. Bang on the wall immediately if the mind come cross your head. SO THIS IS WHAT THE WAY YOU ARE INSULTING WHAT YOUR PARENTS GAVE YOU? Nobody was born to be a useless bum in this world. SO DO I. This is my careless mistakes. In fact, I shouldn’t disappoint my parent up, yes or not? This is just the starting point, and, why should I give up just because a failure? I might be chased it up, and boast it up by start working right now! There shouldn’t be excuse around anymore! I need to start right now. I know it is quite a bouncy and hard road for me to push myself into the extreme, but for my sake, for my parent’s sake, for my family’s sake, I DO. 

Allows me to spend some space for self-encouragement. I need it badly please…

WAIT UP NO MORE KEE KEAT YING! You have no time. You are wasting your precious time on doing all the craps, and spending all the time on having leisures, sleeping, dreaming and gazing, and now, who should you blame on? YOURSELF. There is no one stopping you from gaining ahead on your success, but you are just fail to gain it. You are destroying it all by yourself. YOU ARE LOSING THE CHANCE. So please fight it back. Start right now, and you still stand a chance. Or else, just bid a big farewell to the awaiting and upcoming success. Looking others, who are surrounding you with big success hugs, and you, facing the cold wall alone. No one will be sympathy on you. YOU DESERVE IT! So please, don’t let this come true. Start to gear right now! Your efforts are greatly appreciated. BUCK UP, BUCK UP, and BUCK UP, KEE KEAT YING!!!!!

P.S.: My dearest father is calling me at the time I finished my last piece of word for this. This stupid coward girl still, tearing all the time whenever the sound of parents come.  =(

Mad Enthusianism.

First of all, I am generating a deep, deep ever apologize to everyone, sorry for covering my blog's wall with so cloudy, and emotional posts recently. Writing blogs for me now, is an activity of DESTRESSING and RELEASING. This is the only site for me to face the real-self, the true soul, where I can be showing up no smiles whenever I don't wish to do so, or even, tears come. I don't ever remember when was the last time when I laugh hastily just what I used to be. 

THE MOST DEVASTATING IS, WHEN YOU FACE YOURSELF ALONE. IT IS DARK, LONELY, SCARY, AND DEPRESSED. 

Facing all the SUCKS and FAKING acts in front of me, yet I have to SMILE at every appealing faces. I am quite annoyed with myself actually. It is totally annoying, desperate and distorting. You will never know what it feels like WHEN YOU HEARD SOMETHING BAD AND AWFUL, YET YOU ARE FAKING A SMILE FOR IT. Forgive me if I do use any harsh word, although I controlled myself hard to stop trash of harsh words ran out from my lips.

I have a weird habit, which has been practiced since my arrival to Sabah. Whenever I feels bad or something, I like to capture pictures of sky and lights. It feels like, I gave everything to the sky, my bothers, my troubles, my problems, and all the tears to the sky, and SHE gives me something back, which reminds me to SMILE. When the raindrops fall, well, I will just console myself as, SHE is sending something back for me as a return to heal my wounds. 

I am so tired to face everything here sometimes, especially WHEN ALL THE FAKES COME. In fact, I amend my way since I was detached from my dad's and mum's hugs. Why should I? Because I know I should. Because I know I have to. Because I know it's time for me to change. I change, and I changed. I tried hard to fit into the environment, and the luckiest of me is, I managed to establish m own kingdom in the troupes, and I am so LUCKY to own a group of friends. But slowly, when time is tickling away, when the cloud starts to shade off and the real side of the Sun is appearing, I started to know that EVERYTHING IS NOT SO EASY AS IMAGINED. Freaky, isn't it?


It is so HARD and TORTURE to endure something that you don't want to. I amend my bad and hot temper, just so as to fit myself in a brand new environment, I even captivated the old-self of me out, the so bad-tempered, and scolding me out of nothing all, without paying a consideration to other factors, the one who has been mollycoddled by parents and family, the former and useless KEE KEAT YING, has been captivated. I changed a brand new style of me, yet there is still somthing made me really annoyed and exasperate. WHAT SHOULD I DO? Should I freed out the old-self of me out? ENDURANCE MEANS NOTHING NOW. I am enduring, I am suffocating, and I am torturing, but I am NOT BENEFITING! It is so unfair to me, and it should be the time for me to cry myself out.


WHEN YOU KEEP SAYING NOTHING TO YOURSELF, ACTUALLY, IT IS SOMETHING INDEED HIDING IN YOUR SOUL AND TELLING YOU, "STUPID AND SILLY."

Who is caring on my feelings? Who knows actually the stupid and silly-looked girl, who only knows to laugh her heart our, eat full, and sleep warm actually needs somebody to care about her feelings? EXTREMELY, SUFFOCATE. I am dwelling in my old soul, I know it is harsh, but, IT WAS THE BEST WEAPON TO CAMOUFLAGE MYSELF OUT. I know the old-self of me should not be the way for me to protect myself, against every threats, but, indeed, it is useful for stopping and halting those whoever tries to hurt me. 


Tell me what should I do. Awaking me up, before I am flooded away by the loss.

When I say nothing at all....

It is quite suffering when the words come to the lips, but you swallowed it. I just don’t want to feel this at all, my final exam is coming, yet I am spending and wasting my precious study time to write these craps here. THESE ARE NOT CRAPS THOUGH. I keep persuades myself to be freed from all of these freaky minds, yet the HAPPENINGS, CHANGING, and the TRANSFORMING of everything around, make me bend my knee down to the REALITY. Sometimes, I rather pretend that I was seeing illusions of what happens on the surrounding, but, it is something changed, indeed. TEDIOUS THINGS, but it means a lot to me. I am trying hard to throw up every single piece of dissatisfaction, every single word of my disappointment to you, I am trying hard to approach to your real heart every time, but finally, I chose to locked myself out of your heart. I RATHER STAY UP AND LOOKING AT YOU SMILING HERESTICALLY in your group and I just like an outsider, banging into your world. And I, forever and ever, am an OUTSIDER. Something is transforming. Maybe you will just feel, and misunderstand me about the tantrums I thrown, faces I shown, and the harsh words that I used, but, YOU WILL NEVER EXPOSE OUT THE REAL SIDE OF ME. I just want to find a SOMEONE who can really understand the happy and joyful-looking girl, but actually, hidden all her sorrows and her tears in a narrow and cold chamber. I am smiling with my bare eyes, but behind of it, there is a pool of tears and sighs. Who is able to give a simple hug or just few sentences of consolation to me when I was really down UNDER the Earth until I am escaping from facing the loneliness and realities? Who is going to stay by my side when I need a warm and broad shoulder for filling my tears up? No reason. No signal. These are all my camouflages. One day, I should release myself with them. Because they are just too BULKY for me.

P.S.: It’s quite moody and cloudy today, the weather is permitting me to write so…

稻香

Just want to write something in my Mother language. I admit, it makes me feels better, esecially when nostalgia is drowning me.

周杰伦。稻香。

过了一段时间的一首歌。

之前就很喜欢，只因为很喜欢周杰伦很具创意的旋律。

有人说，在异乡生活的游子会格外感触，可能吧。

突然间，我觉得，这是很有意思的一首歌。

游子们，如果你们用心聆听这首歌，

撇开周杰伦独具创意的咬字不说，它的词，还真有意思。

有多少个人会珍惜在家的美好？

而我又有什么资格在这里说这些长不啦叽的大道理？

因为，我没有珍惜；因为，我后悔没有珍惜。

没有什么东西是家人给不了我的，然而，我总是觉得我拥有的不多。

其实，是我不明白知足是什么。

我总是认为，我很懂事，因为自我考取第一个班上的前十名以内开始，

我就不会向父母要求。一直到长大了，都是一样。

我知道我的父母经济能力有限，没有能力来满足我的虚荣心，

所以渐渐地，我学会隐藏我的虚荣心，一直到它完全沉没。

相比之下，我拥有的很多，但是我却让我的眼睛只看得见我拥有得很少的事实。

很该死吧？我也这样觉得。

我不会向父母抱怨为什么别人有我没有这件事情，

物质上享受不到，最起码，我也应该得得宠吧！该死的我是这样想的。

于是，我开始予取予求，一直到最后，离开了家，才知道自己有多么地活该。

有一个疼我的爸爸，不管多忙，不管多累，

都从来不会忘记，在一个他没有办法马上抵达的地方，还有一个女儿，

每天每夜，抓起电话，就会听见“吃饱了没？还有没有钱？”的嘘寒问暖，

有一个爱我的妈妈，嘴上一直在叨念我什么都不做，

却在我离开家之后，拼命地教我偷懒的方法，让我可以过这轻松的大学生活，

在我回家的时候准备满满一桌我爱吃的东西让我吃，即使嘴上一直说我胖。

有一群爱我的姐姐，不管何时何地，

从来都不会遗忘有一个贪吃好玩的妹妹在另一个地方，

在我生日的时候想起我，看到稀奇古怪的东西时候想起我，

然而即使自己的工资有限，却总是在我需要的时候，不让我有丢脸的机会。

我拥有的，很多。

我失去的，也很多。

失去每一个跟他们说谢谢的机会，失去每一个跟他们相处在一起的时间，

现在是一个人。

很孤单。

从来没有想过 会有这么孤单的时候，让自己的灵魂面对自己，

其实，我真的很想念他们。

我没有选择逃避现在的空虚，为什么要这么脆弱堕落？

我接受，我面对，我克服。

“不要懂得失去之后才懂得珍惜。”

这句话人人都会讲，人人都可以说出一番大道理，

但，有多少个人不是失去之后，才懂得慢慢珍惜？

珍惜一切，就算没有拥有。

最喜欢的一句话。真的要珍惜一切，即使它与你擦身而过。

你没有能力去阻止一件事情的发生，你却可以改变结果。

活了二十年的家，我从来不觉得过中秋那么有意义，

在这个活了两个月的环境，我好想念妈妈拿来祭祖用的食物。

吃了二十年同一双手做出来的饭，我从来没有称赞过妈妈的手艺，

在这个活了两个月的环境，我发现，只要不是我妈妈的手做出来的饭，都没有味道。

叫了二十年的爹地妈咪，我从来没有去注意过岁月停留在他们脸上的痕迹，

两个月的时间里，我只从听筒里面听见另一头的呼唤，他们，真的老了。

回头想想，如果你也和我一样，

请你今晚好好地吃妈妈做给你的晚饭，即使有你最讨厌的青椒；

请你好好跟爸爸聊聊天，即使他常常对你板着一张严肃的脸；

请你好好地爱惜你的房间，妈妈为你亲手布置得房间，即使你讨厌粉红色和蝴蝶结；

请你好好地给家人一记美丽的微笑，即使你从压力的工作中喘不过气来；

嫌弃吧！如果我说了这么多，你还是觉得，这个世界亏欠你太多。

但同时，请你记住，它给了你一样最美的东西 --- 家。

回到最初的美好。

因为有这个地方，我有我的城堡；即使我没有过着像公主一样奢华的生活。

因为有这个地方，我有一群永远不会嫌弃我的人；即使我满身都是缺点。

因为有这个地方，我拥有了生命中最完整的东西；即使我曾经不珍惜过。

因为有这个地方，我才是今天的我。

我从来没有离开那个地方，虽然距离我上一次跟妈妈坐下来一起吃饭，

已经是两个星期前的事情。

凌晨三点零六分，我坐在书桌前写着这些废话。

很想睡了，因为今晚我不想梦到王子，我想梦到我的家。

阳光洒在路上就不怕心碎。

有阳光的地方，就没有惧怕，就会有希望，

哪里会拥有属于你的阳光？就是永远在你身旁的家。

哪里会有你想要的天使？就是永远守候在你身边的家人。

爱人没了，可以再找，家人没了，就是没了。

差别还真的不小。

把心里的位置挪一挪吧！家人，永远要在爱人之上。

因为家人，是最爱你的人。

现在开始学会珍惜，你或许会说，“早知道就应该这么做了！”

最起码，我懂得现在开始珍惜，而不是到了跌跌撞撞的时候，

才来求助无人。

回家吧，回到最初的美好。

最初的美好。

废话说得还真多，我没有资格在这里说教，我也不是在说教，

只是，我不希望还有人跟以前的我一样，老在抱怨自己得到的不多。

跟家人说声谢谢，，跟家人说声对不起，

在他们的眼里，不管你怎么错，他们都会对你无罪释放。

谢谢，我的家。

谢谢你们完整了今天的我。

我会珍惜，我会知足。