Long time no see, my dear blog, and the sides of my deep bottom heart. Well, I have to admit that this is the place where I am puring out all the unwanted rubbish out from my heart, and the place where I can writing some rubbish, nonsence, as well as destressing. ASSIGNMENTS. Seems like he problem foe every student who crakcked their heads and stormed their brains like HELL just for the pieces of paper, and full of words which mean nothing for them. I had accomplished countless assignments since I start my days here, yet actually, I really don;t know what is the true meaning behind them. USELESS. Can I describe these things like that? I was the group leader for one of the assignments done with my members, and I supposed to do the presentation and leading my members for that. I was really shocked and surprised when the lecturer suddenly announced that the presentation will begin one week after that. You really can't imagine how big was my mouth opened and how cold was my heart when I heard that. It's just like a flush of cold, icy blood ran into my bloodstream, and I started to shiver after hearing that. STAGEFRIGHT is not a problem for me actually, but the problem is I WAS PREPARING NOTHING FOR THE PRESENTATION! Cracking my head for the preparation for the stupid slides, having uncountable sleepless nihts for that, and finally, THE USED PERFECTIONIST ACHIEVED WHAT SHE WANTS AND SHE WAS REALLY OVER THE JOY WHEN WATCHING THE SLIDES RUNNING WTH MARVELLOUS ANIMATIONS AND INFORMATION. So this morning. I charged myself up to 100% fully prepared for the thing, and even wore up the SKIRT, which id the good farewell with me since my last wore last year. But finally, I was rushing the slides by just clicking them, after nstructed by the lecturer, "MAKE YOUR FACTORS, RECOMMENDATIONS, AND SUMMARY LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES." It was really terrible for me. Luckily, I threw up all the slides that I had prepared and I was really over the joy when i saw the last slide, THANK YOU. Wordless to describe my feelings. So complicated. This was the first presentation that I done since my campus days starts, et there is a lot ofspace for me to do even better. Lots of awaiting assignments are there. Lots of chances. HAHA. Well, wish me luck for the next sleepless night. :P

P.S.: Emo-ing for nostalgia.... Starts to miss my home.....
          Countdown 6 days for home return...

A not FUnnY and InterEStiNg pranK. I m laUghiNg as WelL aS CryiNg.

I keep telling myself, "IT'S ALRIGHT." I don't want to spare myself to think so much about it. It's not a big deal. It's just a prank. Not meant to hurt me, but indeed, I was drowned in the feeling o being hurt and injured badly. Maybe it was a minor thing for anyone else, but it's just like a bitter pill for me to swallow. Tears are bursting, rushing and still, I was controlling myself so hard for not letting them down in front of others. It was not so easily for preventing tears coming out, controlling hard for keeping smiles in front of others, I leave these for myself. All I need is just a space for me to hve a big head of cries, let my tears flowing uncontrollably and without any control. I need it. I don't want to succumb myself to be so strong, to be so tough for others, sometimes, especially when I am sad, I will leave me to myself. JUST LET OFF, HAVE A BIG CRY, AND AFTER THAT, PUT ALL THE SUCKS THINGS BEHIND. I used to camouflage myself with STRONG and TOUGH image, but indeed, I am fragile. Countless times for me, hidingin the toilet or under my blanket, crying all myself out in the silence. I never shared out what has happened to me, I just need some silence. A silence for me where I can cry myself out. IT'S ALRIGHT. IT'S ALRIGHT. Don't mind about that. Just some simple words that sounds like pranks, but I WAS SUFFERING FOR THE WHOLE NIGHT. Nobody knows about this. And by today, just a snick moment, THEY ARE MENTIONING IT, SPRAYING SALT ON THEWOUND AGAIN. This time, I stayed to be strong in fron of the others. I was defeated by it in the library. Shutting up the door of the toilet, you can't imagine how badly I cried my heart out in the small closet. Covering my mouth up, I don't even dare to make a single sound. What was being felt for me when I tasted all the salty and bitter tears? The answer is, the STUPIDITY OF ME. I don't like the pranks that have been made on me, but why I need to suffer hard for tolerating them? Why I was ill-treating myself by faking smiles on them? I AM FEELING BAD!! Who can hear the silence scream deep within me? Behaves like feeling nothing, and hiding behind the people, and crying FUCKING badly in the closet, this is how I treat myself? All SUCKS! Because they are my friends, because they don't know they had hurt me as well, because, I don't want to uninstall my camouflage. I am strong, but who knows what is hiding behind it? I am happy, I am over the joy, I am the one making people around me to be happy, to laugh their hearts out, BUT, do I really laughing my heart out? Do I really so happy just like what has been presented? Do anybody really care that what I need? Tired. Really tired. I am being myself, but, the fact is, I NEED CARES TOO!! Spare a thought on my feelings next time when you want to play such pranks on me. Maybe you will feel nothing on it, but, please consider my terribility after that. I don't like the walls of toilets' closets, and the taste of my tears. They don't feel good at all. You are obtaining all kinds of happiness, but I am leaving the injured soul to myself.

Move Move, Shake Shake, DROP WHAT CHA MAMMA SAID!!

I watched STEP-UP 3D again. Still, I shouted out uncontrollably, along with their victiories, along with their encouraging-yelling, along with their excitement when the trophy was in their hands, along with the touch, along with the moves and grooves. 
This time, I watched the 3D version. It is so AMAZING, MARVELOUS, PERFECT and, I wished to watch it again. :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sxTpWOQn80
I was addicted to the song recently.
MOVE MOVE SHAKE SHAKE, FROP WHAT CHA MAMMA SAID!


Come on, lets move and shake.

I AM BACK!!!! yo~~

Sitting in the Kota Kinabalu International Airport, waiting for my plane-boarding now. EXCITED!!!!! Well, I have been looking forward for the day, even that I was facing the pressure, tension and stress from various tests and mid-term as well. This will be a short break for me, but, I do arranged my two weeks' break with FULL and PACKED schedules. 

1. Having endless meals with my family, especially my DAD and MUM. I know they have been lonely for months since I was here, (I used to be the noisy-maker in the house), so I will get adapt to my old habits soon, MAKING NOISES!!
2. Meeting up with my dear friends and sisters in hometown. I do miss you guys a lot. Catching up the karaoke sessions, movies and so on, be CRAZE for that! My style, CRAZY OVER THE HEAD NO MATTER WHERE WE ARE!
3. I swear to have my mum's home-cooked SOUP and DISHES once I get back. Immediately, once I stepped into the door, I will hang a board, writing "NO OUTSIDE FOOD ALLOWED" on the main gate, and whoever brings, or suggests to have the outings dinner, outings lunch, and I will showing NO MERCY, KILL UNSPARED. 
4. Finishing all the awaiting SUCKS assignments. Mountain-like assignments. I am not the type of book-worm, instead, I am having the characteristics of HOME-PARASITES, parasiting on my beloved-bed and room, hanging around in my house area without any purpose. :P But still, I know where and what is my responsibility. So, books, notes and things that regarding with it are lying in my luggage now. I will finish it as soon as possible. 
5. Studying whatever that I missed and lost during my lectures before. Especially, CHEMISTRY. Well, since my lecturer is si expertised in reading all kinds of incants in front of the dekstop screen, that were really making me sleepy, and nearly banging my shoes off his head once I missed the speed he clicked on the slides. So now, I needt to rush myself to catch it up, by making use of this two weeks time. I was not performing well in the previous exam, STPM, which means a lot to me actually, so now, it's time for me to get it back. I WON'T LOSE. 

(As what I am saying and persuading to myself, YOU WILL NOT LOSE, IF THE WORD 'GIVE-UP' NEVER APPEARS IN YOUR DICTIONARY AND COME TO YOUR MIND.)

So, i won't lose, isn't it?

Home, sweet home, I am flying back right now!! I just can't cover up my excitement once the images of my mum, dad, and family appears in my mind. Oh gosh, it feels MARVELLOUS. 


P.S.: Friends were asking me a few days ago: "How do you feel about this? Flying home soon?"
          What I answered was, "Feeling nothing."
But, it feels marvellous indeed.
(I am taking the high riskk of being punched and kicked frustly of writing this. :P)


Goodbye UMS, Welcome home!
(Seems like I am biding the farewell to it, but two weeks later, I will grab along the baggage and sneaking into the BIRD-CAGE like a thief again. XD)

Well, what should I comment about my Math test which was just happened this morning? Erm. NONSENSE. haha.. But, I really tried my best for it. It is so unfamiliar towards me, all craps about hypothesis testing, regression, correlation and some sorts like that. Formulas and everything that make my eyes popped out from the original position, my stomach has undergone a 360 degree turnover and making me nausea, STILL, I tried my best to understand the thing and just wrote out like a machine once I get the questions. Is it really helping? I don't know. But this time, I am not letting myself down, although I am not performing well. 
AT LEAST, I TRIED.
AT LEAST, I DOESN'T GIVE UP AT THE LAST MINUTE.
AT LEAST, I SHOWED MY LAST DANCE FOR IT. 
AT LEAST, IT IS OVER. :p

good luck to me.